'Kris, What is This?' 'Nothing Much, I Just Want Out.'

EXO's Kris wants to terminate his contract and leave EXO. To be honest, I don't blame just S.M. 

Yes, not JUST the agency. I think it's both S.M. and Kris's fault. If you're reading this, you're probably judging me, but I honestly don't care. This is MY opinion, MY logic, MY comprehension on the situation, and most of all, MY blog post. So if you're going to bad mouth me, let me just say that I don't give a shit about what's going to come out of your head because I have my own beliefs and we don't all think alike. 

I love EXO as much as the next fangirl. I have been of theirs for a LONG time, and although I didn't love them the MINUTE they came out, I loved them a long time ago and I still love them now. They're my ultimate bias group, and even though groups like B.A.P and Got7 are slowly tiptoeing into my land of K-Pop kings, EXO still rules the place. I do so many things a fan: I buy their merchandise, I buy their albums, I like and save pics of them, I watch all of their videos, I watch their fan cams, I use EXO "language," I write fan fiction about them, I listen to their songs every single day, I cheer for them on every award or concert or whatever even if they don't win or not as awesome as I expected. 

So normally, hearing about Kris's decision to terminate his contract with S.M. Entertainment should fire me up and blame the company, right? I mean, S.M. has had so many of these issues in the past: Jaejoong, Junsu, and Yoochun of DBSK, Hangeng of Super Junior. You'd think they learned to treat their artists better. Lots of fans right now are probably going "F*** you, S.M!" or "S.M. YOU SCREW OVER." And as an EXOtic, a part of me wants to do that, too. But there's another perspective you should view this from to get a bigger picture. 

Don't you think the company WANTS to treat their artists well? I mean, the artists bring in the money, bring in the consumers, and give the company a good name. And judging from their previous experiences, S.M. has plenty of reasons to want to improve. I think the thing that's going on right now is the idea that you have to work hard for your goals, you should never be satisfied at just being at the level you are, and that you should always strive to improve. 

S.M. Entertainment has a lot of competition in the K-Pop industry. They may be a big name, but big names don't come from just anywhere. The artists created the hype surrounding the company, gave the company its financial support, and live their dreams through this company. Just being an S.M. Artist shows that you are a determined, hardworking person because S.M. isn't the easiest and nicest company to work for. Competition in the company is far fiercer than the competition outside. Competition to be the best, competition to live your dreams, and competition to achieve. So naturally, even after you have left the trainee days and entered the world of K-Pop stars doesn't mean your workload is going to lessen. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's going to increase. 

Being a K-Pop star is way harder than what normal people think. Most just think that you just have to learn a dance and a song, record some songs, and do promotions. In reality? The work NEVER ends. 

Learning and perfecting a dance takes at least a month to memorize and create. Each day, a typical eight hours of practice. Diets to make sure you don’t get too fat and ugly. Learning a song is even harder and recording an album? Not everyone can do that. You need more than just singing ability. You have to be able to make that song YOURS, and becoming your song is harder than just singing it. This is why I have respect for all the artists who write their own songs, because it shows that they care about what they present and that they have a say in their concept. And it also shows just how educated somebody is, and how creative they are. It shows that they are real artists with something to say. 

Promotions, what a joy ride. If you're a hugely popular group like EXO, promotions are probably the hardest part. Promoting includes performances, appearances in programs, fan greets, and photo shoots/interviews. EXO does lots of promotion, as you probably saw with their twelfth win with Growl and all the advertisements they've been doing. Huge masses of girls go to see EXO practically everywhere, swarming masses of people sticking cameras and phones and pens their faces. Screaming your name, which starts to sound awful and never ending. People would think that somebody would enjoy the popularity, but in truth, popularity is like a Frappucino from Starbucks: refreshing at the moment, but slowly stales and dulls in flavor. 

Living as a K-Pop star isn't that fancy either. It makes sense that financially EXO would have problems because a) they have twelve members b) their company also needs a share in profit c) their living costs sky-rocket. There are twelve members; just feeding one member per month should amount to over 1,000,000 won per month. That is 12,000,000 won. They also have to pay living expenses like their clothing, skincare, medical expenses, and send money home to their parents. They also have to share their profit with the company, and they have to pay for many other factors. All in all, having a twelve-member group is expensive as hell. So no wonder they would have financial problems. It's not that the company doesn't give them enough or doesn't distribute the money fairly; money is usually distributed individually, so the more number of programs you attend the more you earn. For example, if you are an actor in a drama, you are going to earn more than your members, who are not participating in a drama. Sometimes, groups decide to split the money equally amongst themselves, but it's up to the group to decide. We don't know anything about EXO's profit distribution outlines. 

Kris himself also has to take some of the blame. If he feels that the company has violated his civil rights or whatever those damn news reports state, then it is actually his fault. I'm not siding with S.M., but he probably knew about the whole incident with Super Junior and DBSK before he signed with the company. He actually signed in 2008 or 2009, when all this happened. Surely he knew about it, and if he saw this then it was his decision whether or not to continue on at S.M. with the possibility of this happening to him or leaving the company. He chose to stay, because he wanted to live his dreams. That means he should have the determination and the persistence to go on. Backing out right now and attempting to terminate his contract shows that this persistence has worn thin. If he thought that being a daesang idol was going to make his life easier, boy was he wrong. At the height of your popularity is when you get the least amount of rest. 

Speaking of popularity, EXO has recently come back. Not that long ago, even. Kris's timing is especially bad, because not only will this make their comeback less spectacular, it will blacken the company's name and highlight even worse fan activity. "Overdose" is a wonderfully crafted concept, both visually and musically. I'd hate to see it go to waste and get overshadowed by this conflict. 

I love Kris, I love EXO, and I love S.M. Even though I feel like this conflict is such a failure of both Kris and his company, I will whatever happens. I'm just really disappointed, because I thought it was always going to be one. I thought S.M. was smarter now, and that Kris was a stronger person. I'm not so sure anymore. Although I'll support EXO in the future, I'm not so sure the EXO I'm seeing now was the EXO I fell for. I love them all. I treasure the fangirling moments, the merch, the feels. 

No matter what happens, we will always be supporters. Because that's what fans do. They support. Fans shouldn't be wreck less. Fans should respect, because that's how they get respected. Fans should never get too blinded, because then they lose sight of what they truly fell for. Fans can only pray for the best. The best light to end this darkness. 

Feel free to comment your thoughts on this matter. 

At the end of the day, 

We Are One,

Aren't We?

A Poem Anthology

I sat down and wrote some poems. There are five. Hope you like them. I don't really care if you don't. Well, maybe just a little. 

A haiku. 

The Internet

Desperate typing

A universe that traps me

A coma of lies.

A structured. 

 Outside My Window, I See Thee

Over by the park bench

Underneath the seats.

Tucked behind an iron bar.

Sits a pair of cleats.

It’s sunny

Dewy from yesterday’s rain

Edged with fog

Morning’s greetings from a midnight train.

Yearning to go outside

Waiting to explore

In a dazed morning trance

Wind floats through the door.

Invisible strings

Sleeping in cold water. 

Empty thinking

Eyes that only wander.

There you are.

Holding those cleats by the elbow

Escaping the park.

Entering my window. 

Two free verses. 

A Stupid Analysis Of Myself By Myself

Smart?

Logical?

Future Law?

Ha. 

Truthfully, I am just a misconstrued mess of things yet to be put back together.

An unorganized train wreck with eyes,

Food-consuming computer with the wrong codes.

Ha.

A bomb waiting to explode into a bazillion fireballs

A dictionary with the word ‘bazillion’ under the letter ‘T.’

Lazy sunshine that shines in the wrong places.

Ha.

A book hoarder that hoards empty glass bottles

An enigma with a easily solved exterior

A happy person with a superb streak of wins and failures.

Ha.

The kind of person that jams whatever she can think of in a sentence or two

A run-on with a period before the end.

A mixed alphabet that doesn’t want to be unscrambled.

I’m that kid who hated bread as a kid and now have a unexplainable urge to go buy some.

I'm a perplexity of a person. Poo.


 My Wonders of Life at Age Thirteen

How to lose something that has already been lost.

How to value something you don’t know has value.

How to be something when you don’t know what to be.

How to list wonders when you don’t really know what to wonder about.

What would it be like to live on the moon,

What my mom would say if she found out I broke her hair dryer,

What will happen to the hair dryer that is now hidden beneath my bed,

What is beneath my bed?

Now that’s a REAL mystery.

Where my money goes when I can’t find it,

Where my mind goes on Saturdays,

Where did the word “Saturday” come from?

Where is the textbook for my math homework,

Where did the doughnuts next to my math homework go?

Certainly not in my stomach.

When is EXO going to come to New York City?

When will the New York City Department of Education stop the elongation of a school day at Stuyvesant?

When will I get over the fact that the absence of abs in the NYC concert when there was an abundant display in Paris is frustrating,

When did my sentences get so long?

When will the Senior Trip be,

When will I stop being so forgetful,

When will I sleep tonight?

And a name poem. 

The Name Poem (‘Cause Naming This ‘Emily’ Would Be Cliché)

Exerts much of her concentration on professional fangirling,

Mostly crazy but I’d call it genius,

Interesting if you don’t mind waiting for it.

Lends an ear for your worst jokes because they’re probably better than mine,

Yours to trust.

~*~

Some of these poems you might not understand. Don't worry about it. 

I don't know. I just had a whole session of self-reflection and listening to rock music and the deep lyrics really got to me. The poems might not be the greatest in the universe, but they're mine. I'm going to look back and laugh at all this later, maybe. But for now, I just feel... deep. Soulful. I dunno, bro. 

._.

A Cover by Before You Exit and My Boy Band Craze

Ever heard of Before You Exit?

Well, Before You Exit is an American group that I somehow ended up falling for last winter. If you have watched this, you probably noticed this is a cover of "All of Me" by John Legend. Isn't it a good cover? A reason why I like them is because they do acoustic so well, and I bet they'd be great live. 

My favorite song of theirs is "Soldier," the acoustic version. It is a wonderful love song, and I find the music video really meaningful. The video is here~ Please check it out and click the like if you want ^^ Gosh, I feel like a teenage girl. 

Before You Exit presents "Soldier"

Man, them bands just get me every single time. To be honest, I used to be a Directioner. Yes. A Directioner, as in One Direction fan, as in a crazy Narry shipper who wore stripes and obsessed over Harry's curls. However, that is not the case anymore, and I devote quite a lot of my practically non-existent free time to fangirling over K-Pop and books and movies. 

In my opinion, the guys in this group aren't particularly hot, but their music is really good and very catchy. And they play instruments. What girl doesn't like a guy who can sing and play an instrument and is not bad looking? Okay, if you're one, don't answer that. But the majority do. 

Why did I make this post... I don't even know. Well, I'm a huge fan of John Legend, I love Before You Exit, and this cover is just amazing. I also recommend the one Kurt Hugo Schneider made, which features Zendaya and Max Schneider, so check that cover out, too. 

If you really like boy bands, I encourage you to check out (if you haven't already) Five Seconds of Summer. They're a British punk rock group with really catchy songs, and their music is just amazing. My personal favorites of their songs include "Heartache on the Big Screen," "Disconnected," and "Heartbreak Girl." However, "She Looks So Perfect" is really good, too. They're also in ties with One Direction, but they play their own instruments and are currently on tour (I think) in the States~ They're quite fresh, too, so if you're a newbie to punk rock, this isn't too deep or scary. Quite the opposite, actually. Oh my god, how do I have time to find more bands to obsess over everyday ;-;

The Fault in Our Stars

This is possibly the worst thing that has ever happened to me, but yet this is possibly the best thing at the same time. I mean, this is The Fault in Our Stars that we're talking about.

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

Okay, I'll stop talking gibberish and get to the professionalism behind my reviewing. What am I talking about, this is a teenage girl talking to you, I don't sense any professionalism. Anyways, the book is just amazing. I remember when I first saw this in the bookstore, on the "Bestsellers List" in Barnes & Noble. I didn't think much of it at the time, but I purchased it anyway and spent the whole night reading it. Instant. Love.  

If you've read the posts before this, you would know that I am a huge TFIOS and John Green fan. Okay, maybe just the last post, but I feel like this book requires more than just ONE blog post like seriously. The story is about this guy and this girl who both have cancer and they fall in love. Yes, the whole typical "cliche" storyline with a cancer twist. It is, and I quote, "a cancer book that is not about cancer." Well, to be honest, this book is about cancer. But it's about the love cancer has brought upon two people whose lives are in the shadow of cancer. I've probably used the word "cancer" like twenty times already, but there is no other word to describe it more specifically. Should I say osteosarcoma and thyroid cancer? There is still the word "cancer" in that description. Using the word "cancer" I am able to reach those who have no idea what osteosarcoma or thyroid cancer is. Therefore, I shall continue to use this word. 

The Characters are bloody complicated. But in a way, it is good bloody complicated. The two main characters that this story revolves around have the names of Hazel Grace Lancaster and Augustus Waters. You've probably heard these names mentioned at least a billion times on the Internet if not in real life. If you've read the book, you probably would smile or insta-fangirl as I put it. 

Hazel Grace is your ordinary cancer survivor. Not really. Her disease, thyroid with "an impressive satellite colony in my lungs" has been named terminal by her doctors. Terminal means incurable. For now, she just has to continue receiving meds and breathing using her oxygen tanks and BiPap. She's been drawn out of school since she was thirteen. Her best friends are her parents and a author who doesn't know she exists. 

She lives as a survivor, almost. She breathes as a side effect of death. 

Augustus Waters rejects that she is unextraordinary. He is a sexy, metaphoric, hot boy with an endless mind and osteosarcoma. Osteosarcoma, a bone cancer, took one of his legs, leaving him with a prosthetic and a stump. That doesn't mean that he is a depressed, lonely, guy, no, he is by the far the most infinitely fascinating boy to have graced my literary world. I just can't seem to solve the mystery of Mr. Waters. 

He lives as a survivor, almost. He lives by the grandness of a roller coaster that only seems to be heading up. 

I want to say that he is an enigma, but I'm not sure if that's the right way to put him as he is quite open to Hazel. Augustus is that kind of character where you feel like he is fine and develop a crush on. Like Four from Divergent, just minus the whole 'Dauntless' and 'four fears' and 'mysterious past' measures. Let's just say it is fairly easy to develop crushes on guys that don't exist for the sake of imagination. 

The way that John Green displays these characters in such a story just pulls on your heartstrings, literally. It's such a simple story, but the complexity of the romance is how their diseases play into everything: their encounter, their experiences together, their feelings towards one another, their love story. This book makes you want to curl up into a ball and not let go of the story forever. 

The Story itself is hard to explain. But then again all stories are hard to explain. I'll give too much away if I summarize it, yet it's very vague if I don't. Let me just say that the two bond over books, one of their friends goes blind, and there is a very beautiful European city in the mix. Augustus is willing to go all out, while Hazel wavers, almost becoming her disease. Peter Van Houten is a dick, and that is giving away all too much already. Sisiphys the hamster has a future, although the same cannot be said about Anna's mom. 


So unless you want a huge spoiler, I suggest that you leave the rest to the book.

Buy it here on Amazon~

To be honest, I think the book was definitely a masterpiece. I also think that the movie is going to the book justice, judging by the trailers and clips I have seen on the web and on YouTube. John Green himself said that he felt the movie portrayed the book stunningly, so I am just going to follow our beloved author's judgment. 

Speaking of the movie, why don't we all see the trailer (although you've probably watched it only a few million times already): 

The Fault in Our Stars Official Trailer (2014)

Alittle more about John Green:

He has been the author of a total of four solo books and about two/three co-authored books as well. The author of Looking for Alaska, Paper Towns, An Abundance of Katherines, and now The Fault in Our Stars, Green is a force to be reckoned with. His writing isn't amazingly elegant, but the stories they portray are touching and realistic. Almost. 

Young Adult fiction. Sigh. 

About Yours Truly :)

Just some things about myself :)

Question 1: Do you have a pet?

No. I do not have a pet, unfortunately. I am quite allergic to extremely furry things. I used to have a Cheshire cat, i was given it as a present, but I ended up giving it to my aunt. 

Question 2: Many many friends or only a few best friends?

Only a few best friends. However, I believe in being a nice person to everyone, so I guess I have many acquaintances and good people to be around. 

Question 3: How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Oh, I would be twenty because one of my biases, Daehyun, is twenty. The age gap makes me cry ;A; YES I AM YOUNG BUT NOT AS YOUNG AS YOU THINK I AM. 

Question 4: What do you like best about yourself? (Character only)

I like strange split-personality. When I'm around my friends and stuff, I'm quite bubbly and carefree and fun to be around (I guess?), but when I'm with my family or at home, I tend to be quiet and serious and keep to myself. Mysterious, even. 

Question 5: What do you like best about yourself? (now body)

Well, nothing really. I'm tallish, I have long legs, but I got a little meat on 'em. I guess my stomach. Dem pre-ab lines, girl. 

Question 6: Which languages do you speak and which is your favorite?

I speak English (obviously), two dialects of Chinese: Mandarin and Cantonese, a little bit of Korean, a little bit of Latin, a little bit of Spanish, a little bit of French, and the smallest bit of Swiss. But I'm thinking of attending Japanese classes this fall. 

Question 7: Your all time favorite song?

Well, for starters, there are a handful of songs I could play over and over and never get sick of. One song, "Into Your World" by EXO, I've played around 800 times in the past year? Also, B.A.P's "1004." Definitely. I also like piano music. Another song would be the Main Theme to "Princess Mononoke," a Studio Ghibli film. Oh! And "Miracles in December." I could listen to that all day. 

I don't know. I don't think I have just ONE song. 

Question 8: Failing or never even trying?

Failing. Definitely. I've never really experienced a true, serious "Fail," but I've failed many minor times and always learned something out of it. 

Question 9: Do you believe in miracles? Have you ever experienced one if you do?

Yes, I believe in miracles, and yes, I have. 

Question 10: Your happiest childhood memory?

Watching old TV cartoons and building small houses with stuff from around the house and crawling inside. 

Question 11: Do you know I know you know I think I know that you know that I think I know what you are thinking? 

So you think I know that you think you know that I think that I know that you think you know what I think? I don't think so ;D

 Question 12: Do you have siblings?

Yes, I have a little brother who drives me nuts. 

Question 13:  If you could choose your home country (where you were born) which country would it be?

I would've been born in the same country, the United States :)

Question 14: Main course or dessert?

Main course! When would you get to eat Hanwoo otherwise?! [Hanwoo is Korean Beef]

Question 15: Your favorite subject in school and the one you hate the most.

I love English but I hate Math.

Question 16:  If you could live the life of someone or something else for one day, who or what would you be?

I would live the life of one of B.A.P's coordinators. Preferably NOT a noona. On the other hand, it would be a glamorous life as a water bottle as well xD

Question 17: Your favorite Disney princess and the reason. XD

I like Sleeping Beauty because I used to think that her prince was really hot O.O

Question 18: What is the very first song you remember listening to? (theme song is also allowed)

Um... the Pokemon theme song? I have cousins ten years older than me, it is possible xD

Question 19: Many relationships to gain experience, or waiting for "the one"?

Well, I guess a mix of both. I mean, not so many that you have to count, but maybe like three? I'm all for waiting for "the one" though. 

Question 20:  The sentence (said by some we-know-everything-better-adults) you hate hearing the most.

"You're too young to understand. Wait until you're older." 

Question 21: Korean dramas or veriety shows? Or both?

Definitely both. I'm all for the all-around Korean experience. Also because I have a thing for cheesy love dramas and funny hot guys ;)

Question 22: Why do you like listening to Korean music? (only ONE sentence!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF COURSE I DO YES YES YES YES OF COURSE. 

Don't judge. I just happen to be a huge K-Pop fan xD

Bumping into B.A.P

Any of you part of the B.A.P fandom? The sea of Babies? (That sounds really stupid, no offense).

B.A.P

From the left: Zelo, Youngjae, Himchan, Yongguk, Daehyun, Jongup

More information on B.A.P here~

Well, they had a concert in New York City, where I live, yesterday! It was part of the "Live on Earth" tour, but I didn't go. I guess you could say that I'm not that big of a B.A.B.Y, as I just recently developed an interest in the group, not just their music. I guess it was because songs like "Warrior" were never that eye-catching to me, so I avoided them a bit. However, 1004 is ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. The instrumentals, their voices, the performances, everything about that song and its promotions has been and still is continuing to be stellar. Since I liked the song, I decided to download all of "First Sensibility." I'm not going to say that I'm the ultimate B.A.B.Y, as I have not been with them since the beginning, but I still love them very much. 

Okay! Back to what I saying. You are probably wondering about the title, "Bumping into B.A.P." Well, that was what I did last Saturday. Here's the WHOLE story.

I am a New Yorker. I live in New York City. I am a girl. So naturally, I have the urge to go buy clothes on the streets every now and then. So on Saturday, after getting my macaron fix from Tous Les Jours, I took the subway down to Downtown Broadway. Or East/West/Whatever Broadwaty. Either way, it was not uptown Broadway. I first went to Utrecht, which is an arts store, to pick up some watercolour paper and ink. I'm also an amateur artist. Then I scheduled a meet-up with one of my cousins so we could go shopping for spring clothes, for it is spring in the Northern Hemisphere. 

My cousin, Vincent, just got back home from California, as he attends university there. Stanford nerds :s After eating some Chinese grub in Chinatown, we went on a stroll up Broadway. Let me just tell you that guys shop just as much as girls if not more. We went through J.Crew, Madewell, Allsaints, Prada, Brandy Melville, Timberland, etc. etc. (We didn't go in that order) I acquired clothes. He bought this gorgeous Allsaints leather jacket that was super expensive (It was like six hundred dollars, okay, that's expensive) and now I am overcome by this green monster. 

I got a call from my mom as we were headed towards Topshop, which is merged with Topman [the male version of Topshop] on Broadway. She was calling about getting my graduation dress, as I had not gotten one yet, and I was telling her about going to Bloomingdale's to check them out when all of a sudden I bumped into this guy. 

I looked up, and came face to face with an Asian guy with tinted/dyed hair. Specifically, a Korean guy. A Korean tourist. He was like "Sorry," and being the courteous thing I am, I replied with "No,  it was my fault. I'm sorry." He was with a friend, and they nodded at me before chattering away into the store. I raised my phone to resume my conversation before it hit me. I've seen that guy before. I'VE SEEN THOSE GUYS SOMEWHERE BEFORE.

Korean... Boys... Seen somewhere... Familiar... Dyed hair... K-POP IDOLS. THEY EQUAL K-POP IDOLS.

So, I turned, grabbed Vinny's arm, and dragged him to the store they entered. Turns out they were headed to Topman, too (I'm a Badman~~ Sorry I had to). I therefore spent the next fifteen minutes stalking the two. It wasn't hard to find them, but my mom was yelling on the other end of the phone and wouldn't shut up. If I hung up she just called me again. The whole time Vinny was going "You are insane, girl. INSANE" and "Who are they even? Let me guess, EXO members?" and "Whoa! That guy looks so gay though! Who buttons their shirt all the way up?" to which I responded with, "A SMART GUY, YOU IDIOT."

The only problem with being a new B.A.B.Y is memorizing their names though. I always watched their performances and stuff, but I wasn't so obsessed with them that I watched their variety shows or whatever. I didn't know exactly WHICH members they were. And my mom wouldn't shut up about getting Alice & Olivia dresses and maybe even Ted Baker ones that I couldn't search up their faces. So, I grabbed Vinny's iPhone and began searching up B.A.P to his protest. Member confirmation?

Daehyun and Youngjae. 

I bumped into Daehyun. I BUMPED INTO JUNG DAE HYUN. AS IN, JUNG DAE HYUN SINGING GENIUS. [The member to the right in photograph above]

However, after my fifteen minute stalk fest, a huge crowd of British tourists swept into the store and I lost them. I briefly found them in Hollister, but then lost them again. Grr...

The saddest part is that I DIDN'T EVEN GET AN AUTOGRAPH. NOT EVEN A PICTURE. YENNO WHY? BECAUSE OF MY LACK OF SHARPIES AND MY FREAKING MOTHER. WHY IS MY GRADUATION DRESS SO IMPORTANT. IT IS JUST A DRESS. B.A.P IN NYC??? RARE AS HELL. RARE. K-POP IDOLS IN NYC? RARE RARE RARE. THEY ARE HARDLY EVER HERE ;A;

So now I am disappointed, sad, and lonely. However, I am fangirlish on the inside, as I had touched Daehyun and wasn't pulled away by security or saesangs or whatever. To be honest? They are goddamn hot in real life. So hot that I would curse. They are beautiful beings, B.A.P. My bias is Yongguk, but I don't care about members anymore. Just seeing them and touching them and hearing them in real life is beyond anything I could ask for. 

I spent the rest of the day educating my cousin on B.A.P, but he only goes like "What is the difference? They all look the same!" to which I respond with a kick in the nuts. 

So, yeah. This was my encounter with B.A.P members. I wish I went to the "Live on Earth" concert yesterday, but someone I know went and I was incredibly jealous. To the fancams and whatnot! I now will fully reside by my computer, as EXO's comeback is tomorrow as well~ Now all we need is an EXO or SMTOWN concert in New York. It's funny how I'm not even a full-fledged B.A.B.Y, yet I met them already. And as an EXOtic, I wish I could meet EXO the same way, too. Well, just with an autograph and picture next time. 

Hence I shall begin bringing a Sharpie and disposable camera with me everywhere I go from now on. 

Eleanor and Park~

Oh. My. God. This book. Just thinking about it gives me feels. Oh god. 

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell 

Buy it here on Amazon~

This book is just tear-jerkingly good. I finished it at about two in the morning a few months ago, and let me just say it made my cry so much I couldn't comprehend anything. it's like... almost the size of The Fault in Our Stars's emotional damage times two. 

The story follows a girl named Eleanor and a boy named Park who fall in love. Sounds totally cliche, I know. But there is a twist in their lives, and their romance is a much more bumpy one. This book conveys what it's like to be in love whilst you're young, and it really pulls heartstrings at points. The book basically shows that the first love practically never lasts, but there are two people willing to attempt at defying that rule. Their backgrounds are totally different, but somehow, they end up loving each other. It gives off the message that you don't necessarily have to be pretty, skinny, and whatever it is girls want to be, to find a love worth fighting for. 

The Characters are beautifully crafted. They were born on the page as misfits. I guess you see more misfits in the fiction nowadays, and it really does help readers to connect. Park Sheridan, god I just love that name, is a Korean American born into an Irish family. Yeah. His father was a U.S. soldier that married a Korean woman after serving in the Korean War. He is the main male of the story, and is the only Asian in the entire school. Which is kind of unfair, but quite realistic in Midwestern America. When you read the book, you'll understand why I love him so much. He's a straight-forward, inexperienced, hot guy. The kind that you want in a boyfriend. He is just... wow. 

Eleanor is a more... frustrating character in my opinion.  It's not that she's snobby or stuck-up or whatever, it's just that she is too busy wallowing in self-pity and living in her problems that she doesn't really try to live her life. However, she is realistic, and as a realist I do quite enjoy that she doesn't seem to be someone who is unachievable; in fact, I think she is someone we can all relate to in a way. Eleanor really does let her insecurity get in the way of life, which is what happens to a lot of us, and my heart really reached out towards the life she was leading. She seems to be an unlikely person that Park would fall for, yet you get that gut feeling that they were meant for each other. 

The character build-up in general was incredible. I love how Rowell is able to create her characters so artistically and effectively. Being an Asian myself especially, I can understand the discrimination and semi-isolation from others when in a non-Asian environment. She handles her characters so very delicately, yet there is passion and emotion in all the actions they take and decisions they make. It's just a work of art. 

The Story is captivating. I know the whole Asian-coupley thing isn't huge in the teen literature world, but in this story, it plays a major role in the enjoyment and pain of the reader. Rowell handles the difference in ethnicity and heritage to weave a socially inacceptable couple in their society and shows that love really can cross boundaries. The story isn't just about love, it is about so many other topics that every one of us has come across or will come across. 

The story is about how Park and Eleanor fall in love unknowingly, then all at once. They bond through comic books and Walkman tapes (this is 1986, people, 1986), then have to overcome the hurdles in life set in front of them. Happy ending? No promises. 

The book is just so... [insert unidentified murmuring and fangirl groans] YOUNG ADULT SLASH TEEN SLASH ROMANCE SLASH COMEDY. It will make you laugh, make you go "Aww~" and make you cry. 

I love saying that Eleanor & Park is "a quiet book with a resonating voice," because it is. Generally, I'm not that into major-cliche-love stories (well, maybe I am), but when I read this I cried. Well, I cry during any emotionally touching book which is possibly every book I read and buy, but this book really is special. 

As for the couple, I ship them even if Eleanor is a crazy witch in my dreams. 

Suggestions for reviews?